Last Friday, I mentioned to my mom that we were taking the girls to see the Naturals (the new minor league baseball team) that night. A little while later, she called me back and said "You know, I was thinking... Jason used to play baseball--has he ever thought of trying out for the Naturals?"
After I finished laughing hysterically, I told her that no, Jason had not considered trying out and hadn't played baseball in about 14 years.
The next night, we were playing outside with the girls, Aunt Ashley, Uncle Thad and Grandma Becky, when Jason (possibly inspired by the previous night's ball game?)picked up a plastic bat and ball. THWACK!!!
I heard the sound of plastic on plastic and, with my cat-like reflexes, turned and ducked. The line drive off my husband's oversized plastic bat hit me squarely on the left ear and my immediate reaction was to start crying because 1) I'm kind of a crybaby 2) It hurt really, really bad 3) I couldn't hear anything and 4) I was sort of mad.
After I quit crying, I examined my bright red ear and determined that the pain was coming from the inside. I couldn't hear, felt a lot of pressure and there was this weird ringing sound inside my head. I spent all weekend talking about it, just to make sure Jason felt sufficiently guilty. He did.
This morning I went to the doctor, as a precaution, since my ear is still hurting. You may be surprised to know that it's possible to rupture your ear drum with a Little Tikes plastic ball--well, if the ball is coming towards your ear at a rapid speed from about four feet away.
In addition to the ear drum rupture, my jaw is also swollen and slightly displaced. From a plastic ball, people! You really can't make this stuff up.
So now I've got ear drops, an anti-inflammatory for my jaw and two weeks of not washing my hair in the shower ahead of me. If you think I'm going to let this go easily, you're wrong. I intend to milk this for at least a few weeks of special treatment.
And as for the plastic bats and balls we have lying around here--I'm thinking of replacing them all with nerf balls.