This One's For My Sister

A Reprimand

Last night we had dinner with my parents and siblings. We spent half the time trying to get my brother to tell us who would be headlining the walmart shareholders' meeting--to no avail. We spent the other half talking about what we've been reading lately.
When my sister asked me which book in the Twilight series I was on (I know. I KNOW.), I told her the third one. My mom, in all seriousness, looked at me and said, "If you have time to read, you have time to blog."

To Be Filed Under What in the World???

Today as I was about to back out of a parking space, a woman knocked on my window. Thinking I must know her from somewhere, I rolled down the window and smiled politely.

"I don't know if anyone has told you this before, but you look JUST LIKE Cynthia Nixon," she said.

It took me a minute to place Cynthia Nixon--Miranda from Sex and the City. Miranda? Seriously? I mean, let's be honest, Miranda is attractive, but who wouldn't rather be told they look like Charlotte, or even Carrie? So I sat there in my seat, staring at this stranger, trying to determine if this was meant to be a compliment or an insult.

Noting my silence, she went on. "I mean, when I saw you come out of that store, I did a doubletake. You look JUST LIKE her!"

I continued to stare, wondering if Cynthia Nixon ever had to drag a forty pound baby carrier into a blinds store. Also, did she ever do it wearing jeans that were at least two days past due for a wash and a two year old running shirt that may or may not have spit up on it?

"OK. Um, thanks?" I shrugged, still unsure of the appropriate response.

She smiled. "I did the whole mom thing, too," she said, nodding to my mini van. "And I always looked frumpy. So I wanted to tell you that you look JUST LIKE Cynthia Nixon!"

Now, see, that's the part that really confused me. Did I look frumpy too? Did she feel a special bond with me with the "whole mom thing"? Was she trying to rally me out of my frumpy mommy existence by comparing me to a famous actress? And if so, couldn't she have told me I looked JUST LIKE Scarlett Johansson?

Do Not Allow Me Near Expensive Appliances/Electronics

I'm pretty much the only loser mom in the blogworld who hasn't posted super-cute pictures of her kids in their Halloween costumes. For now, you'll just have to take my word that the Bramlett girls were the prettiest Little Mermaid and Cinderella around.

It's not that I didn't take plenty of pictures. I did. I got lots of good shots of the two of them enjoying our WEEK long Halloween festivities. It's just that, well, there was an unfortunate accident involving my new-ish camera at the fall carnival at church and now said camera is rendered unusable. Since the cost of repair is somehow more than the cost of a new camera (defying various laws of economics or gravity or something), I guess I'll be buying a new one. Until then, no pictures.

On a slightly related note, I dyed the inside of my dryer orange last week. The good news there is that it doesn't seem to be effecting the performance of the appliance. It does, however, seem to indicate that I am single-handedly ruining every big ticket item in our house.

Whatever Happened to Plain Ol' Barbie?

I just got back from Target, where the girls picked out a birthday present for one of their friends. I was pleased with how quickly Claire picked the toy, as she usually spends twenty minutes showing me everything she'd like to have before finally remembering that she's there to buy something for someone else. She showed me the Barbie and pet dogs that she picked and I agreed that it was a great choice.

Once we got in the car, Claire announced, "These dogs pee."

What?? I snatched the box away from her, and sure enough, it said right there on the packaging "Puppy is thirsty...Then makes a puddle!"

The dogs pee. I don't know what disturbs me more: that there are actually toys that pee, or that I just bought one.

Quite Possibly the Stupidest Injury of All Time

Last Friday, I mentioned to my mom that we were taking the girls to see the Naturals (the new minor league baseball team) that night. A little while later, she called me back and said "You know, I was thinking... Jason used to play baseball--has he ever thought of trying out for the Naturals?"
After I finished laughing hysterically, I told her that no, Jason had not considered trying out and hadn't played baseball in about 14 years.

The next night, we were playing outside with the girls, Aunt Ashley, Uncle Thad and Grandma Becky, when Jason (possibly inspired by the previous night's ball game?)picked up a plastic bat and ball. THWACK!!!

I heard the sound of plastic on plastic and, with my cat-like reflexes, turned and ducked. The line drive off my husband's oversized plastic bat hit me squarely on the left ear and my immediate reaction was to start crying because 1) I'm kind of a crybaby 2) It hurt really, really bad 3) I couldn't hear anything and 4) I was sort of mad.

After I quit crying, I examined my bright red ear and determined that the pain was coming from the inside. I couldn't hear, felt a lot of pressure and there was this weird ringing sound inside my head. I spent all weekend talking about it, just to make sure Jason felt sufficiently guilty. He did.

This morning I went to the doctor, as a precaution, since my ear is still hurting. You may be surprised to know that it's possible to rupture your ear drum with a Little Tikes plastic ball--well, if the ball is coming towards your ear at a rapid speed from about four feet away.

In addition to the ear drum rupture, my jaw is also swollen and slightly displaced. From a plastic ball, people! You really can't make this stuff up.

So now I've got ear drops, an anti-inflammatory for my jaw and two weeks of not washing my hair in the shower ahead of me. If you think I'm going to let this go easily, you're wrong. I intend to milk this for at least a few weeks of special treatment.

And as for the plastic bats and balls we have lying around here--I'm thinking of replacing them all with nerf balls.

Be Honest.

How redneck is it that we:
a)Tivo'd the finale of American Gladiators
b)Watched it last night, in its entirety
c)Know all the Gladiators names and said things like "Man, that Wolf guy is a psycho"
d)Allowed our now four year old to watch it
e)Discussed the various merits of each contender
f)Talked about the glory days of the original "American Gladiators"
g)Remember some of the original Gladiators names (Nitro, anyone?)

Yeah, I kind of thought so...