Why You Will Never Win an Argument with Claire

The following conversation took place last night...

Claire: Stop doing that, AR-DEN!
Arden (doing her best bobble head): You're a baby, Clay-yer.
Claire: No, I'm not! MOM!! Arden called me a baby!
Me (to myself): She also called you poo poo but you apparently didn't hear that part.
Me (to Claire): Remember what Little Bill says when someone calls him a name? So?
Claire: Yeah. So, Arden? So?
Arden (head still bobbling): So? So?
Claire: Stop copying me! You're not a big kid!
Jason: Relative to the second graders at your school, you're not a big kid either, Claire.
Claire: Well, I'm almost a first and second grader.
Me: I don't think a month of kindergarten qualifies you as almost a second grader.
Claire: Yes, it does. And I'm almost six.
Me: Uh, yeah, like in SIX months.
Claire: I'm almost six. We just have December then January then ha! MY BIRTHDAY!
Me: Also all of October, November and half of February.
Claire: No we don't. Just December then January.
Me: Claire. Seriously. We have October, November, December, January and half of February before it's your birthday.
Claire: See! You said December and January! I told you so!
Me: I didn't--oh never mind.